Black and blue. I could stand to be less stupid and also thorium is very useful to power generation I could probably sell it.
Too complex. I somehow mixed 2 of them and lemm.ee died
I take green and Start with all weapons on earth. Imagine the redneck waking up with poop under their pillow, poop on their walls and whole cabinets filled with poop. Fkin hilarious
All the new recruits in the army, literally polishing a turd, because theyre scared of the sergeant and dont know if this is a hazing thing or what
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Absolutely green. So many people would turn to shit that the remaining minority would ask if this was the rapture.
We’d call it getting green pilled
I think I would take turn anything into poo. Trump, Netanyahu, Putin and every billionaire would be instantly poo
Start with just the roof of their mouths.
Nothing changes.
They’re already pretty shitty
So it’s a fitting end
Can you add Kid Rock to your turn to poo list please?
Done
For more petty cases, turn people’s stuff or food into poo.
Then the Copromancer saved the world and never went on a vindictive pooing spree driven mad by his own unstoppable power, The End
Well I mean to be fair there’s a few vindictive pooing spree people in my own life. I was driven mad years by this dystopia ago so not to worry that ship has sailed
I’ll take two unretard.
Green pill would be the best power, hands down, no contest. It would be a very, well, green superpower.
Demolition jobs all around the country, regular houses cost $4-8 per square foot. Underbid & you get every job. Old warehouses? Poo. Toxic landfills? Poo. Asbestos? Poo. Old tech waste that’s processed for valuable metals first? Poo. Forever chemicals? Not anymore, poo. Radioactive nuclear waste that costs us $6B every year according to this? Get a government contract for $5B per year for 100+ years with unlimited paid travel/room/board for you & all your family, travel to all the storage sites & turn all the nuclear waste into poo. Travel the US. Travel the world! You’re the Poo Man. Eliminating radioactive nuclear waste & creating fertilizer. Everyone would pay top dollar for your fantastic services. Getting old, sick of earth? Go to the moon, go to Mars, Mars can use lots & lots of nutrient rich poo to help terraform in the future.
There would be almost no limit to the amount of good you could do, with poo…yes, you can use it to rob banks. If you’re fucking dumb. Or you could legally shake down & radically transform the entire world, make them pay you & your descendants like kings, and if they’re smart they’ll thank you for your services. Poo Man. All day, every day, you’d be the richest man on earth (or Mars) & arguably super super ethical, too. Win-win.
You show up at the capitol to turn Congress into poo.
It doesn’t work, because they’re already full of shit.
I wonder if transforming all the microplastics that are everywhere would improve or worsen everyone’s health.
Boom, miniscule amounts of poo in your bloodstream
Probably improve. Not immediately, and don’t go shoveling it into your mouth, but enough of the poop would have to be treated via simple exposure or a sewage plant.
City people tend to not really understand poop, waste management…give poop enough time, and a little care, it’s fertilizer. Where I live, some of the soils are very very black. Very rich & fertile. It’s the best soil. But what created that rich soil?
It was poop. Poop, pee, rotting biological lifeforms. It was poop, it no longer is poop, I bought this book a year & a half ago that details how to safely turn your own poop into sterile soil. There are many different methods, web search it.
I enjoy the benefits of society & modern plumbing, septic…but if/when everything breaks down…I want a good outhouse. I don’t want to be sitting around like an idiot wondering, “Where does my poo-poo go without 1.4 gallons of water per flush? 🤔”
That depends on what exactly is the poo. If it’s a poo of a living creature, it will be very not good, it’s riddled with microorganisms, viruses, and bacteria that you really really don’t want in your bloodstream. If it’s an abstract idealistic version of poo than it might be better.
Netanyahu? instant poo. Trump, Putin? Instant poo. Turn shitty humans to shit and cut the middle man.
Technically any human was already capable of doing that, the pill doesn’t say that it’s necessarily something you can just instantly do at a distance with your mind.
You couldnt tranform a black hole if there was a range limit, which would mean you couldnt transform anything
Due to the nature of physics, and black hole made of poo would be the same black hole.
It’s like a question Randall got, how much water would it take to extinguish the sun? Answer of course being adding water or ice to the sun will only make it hotter.
Is density preserved?
Yeah, as I was writing it I thought the same thing. If not density though, then what do you measure as the… object itself? Since the prevailing theories are that black holes are either infinitely dense in a singularity, or that some are gravistars, we’d either turn an infinitely small dot into poop, or we’d turn something large enough for the poop to be dense enough anyway, so it may just shrink the blackhole.
Second point also works if using Schwarzschild radius or Kerr metric instead of a gravistar.
eh if its not poo at a distance, don’t wanit
I was thinking blue, since you could sell the thorium. But no, you’re making a solid case here…
If their case is too solid, try eating more fibre.
I can turn a lot of things to poo already tho, I just have to eat them first and wait a while
Do trump next please
That’s pretty cool until CIA or another government intelligence kidnaps you to keep you inside a box converting everything you touch into poop, giving them an advantage against other countries
turn the kidnappers into poo
Ah Mr Bond but that’s why I am wearing a suit made out of poo, your power cannot affect me inside my fecal encasing
Turn the box into poop! Turn all kidnappers to poop!
That’s a good point. Idk you would probably have to have a robust security detail. Which you can afford, or probably again twist the arm of America to provide for you at taxpayer expense. 🙂 All things are negotiable.
You can do so much good with that power, you’d be one of the best people to exist ever in the history of mankind. You’d simply have to use that power. For good.
Could I make Mars poo just to fuck up Elon’s plans?
Just turn Elon into poo. Don’t fuck with Mars.
Nah, I want to take his dreams away from him before I turn him into shit.
Let him land on mars first, then poo.
Green pill me you sick bastard.
The pill doesn’t let you un-poo a thing, so you’d be destroying a whole planet forever just because of one dickhead, who’ll be around for 34 more years maximum.
We already have https://lemmy.ca/post/865320
Green pill = infinite money cheat. Turn all the plastic trash, nuclear waste etc. into bio mass
You could go the evil route and become a hitman as well, or rather a shitman, turning your targets into poo.
Just need to keep your talent a secret. Put on your mask, grab a shovel, turn all the walls between you and the bank vault to shit, take what you need and leave. Cops come, the bullets/guns/cuffs police left feet to poo. Wash the money figuratively once done cleaning it literally, then figure out your next step.
Poopsmith origin story
You can likely find a stuffed poop emoji you can turn into the mask. I’m torn between PoopBoy and ShitHead
Poop at ballistic speeds can still kill you, I guess if the power has unlimited range you are safe by turning the guns into poop before they shoot.
If the power works by contact as is usually the case, you would need a team to rob the bank, it would be the same as having a very fast drill to break the vault.
Yeah if someone is shooting at you it’s a bit late. Being that the character didn’t have a weapon on them I was hoping for a bit of not immediately murder him energy.
Although I suppose once they get there you could just create a couple feet thick wall of shit out of the air around you making an escape funnel. Until you can block their view and escape.
Without having a range/time to perform/nor limits on how much can be converted it really is pretty powerful.
Something like a midas touch to balance the power in the next patch or something
ShitHead ended the world by accidentally turning all of its atmosphere to shit when he sneezed.
targets dropping dead as I turn their brains to poo
I have a few people in mind. Nobody I know personally, though.
Imagine Death Note replaced with this power instead.
It says you can transform anything, which would imply it has no range. You could do that without leaving your house
Also gardeners and farmers would very much want poo. So first you get a deal where someone pays you to turn trash or such into poo, then when the poo dries up, sell it as fertillizer.
Unfortunately, it’s imprecise and now the ocean is literally just shit.
Clarification for green. Does it require physical contact or is it like a Death Note situation? If it’s the former, don’t we already have that ability? What about non-bio-based materials? If you eat a rock and poop out a rock, does it also now qualify as poo?
Im taking the black pill every time. I got a lot of retard to undo
You have become Derpenheimer, destroyer of retards
Black pill’s gonna have some mysterious side effects with my other medication
You literally already have the power of the green pill. Don’t take that one.
I have this power - I turned the entire Republican Party into shit and everything got WAY worse
I’d love to see you turn cyanide into poo. Better act fast!
Eat a bunch of apple seeds
As long as the rate of cyanide is low enough, you can do it no problem.
But some of that stuff isn’t very pleasant to eat.
When we say lifetime supply of thorium. Does it mean the receivers lifetime Or the thorium’s lifetime???
Is it lifetime or halflifetime?
Half-life (thorium in the bg instead of…uhh…idk who the main character is)
Hello Gordon
Black pill. Please cure me of my ailments.
I would be un-fucking-stoppable as a normie.
Neurotypical pill pls
