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It’s 2025, people. If you don’t have a bidet, you’re not doing it right.
Hell I even bought lil squirt guns for my ass so I can have a “portable” bidet.
There are actual portable bidet products you can buy online.
There are, but are they $1.25?
I do find myself fighting for my life on the toilet often.
No seriously you should get a bidet. It’s the biggest life upgrade you can do for under $100.
I remember this scene in Baldur’s Gate 3 you end up with some bear shit on your dick.
You still need some toilet paper to dry off after the bidet, but the cheaper, “harder” paper does a way better job because it doesn’t pill up and fall apart when it gets wet
