between the sounds of laughter of adults catching butterflies
This pill might fucking kill you
teeheeheee
It also might cause your eyes to explode
What if ads had to show side affects by law.
So like theres a guy with gut wrenching abdominal cramps audibly blowing liquid ass mulch into the toilet bowel while moaning painfully.
Scene cuts to he’s smiling and cutting the grass in the front yard.
“sometimes, you have to smell the atrocious to really understand the positive”
shitting in agony, crying, the bowl soaked in sweat and tears, their hand and legs quivering
“that’s why FuckYourself Maximum Dosage really starts your day off by ruining it in some of the worst suffering we have seen in clinical trials. it’s not a side effect, it’s a main one!”
‘oh fuck make it STOP AAAAGGGHHHHHHH’
“after pinpointing the issue, we then turned the concoction up to 11! now when you are finally able to pick yourself up off the floor and wash yourself of feces, you can enjoy the rest of your day knowing that it can only get better from here”
smelling a lush garden full of flowers baking in sun rays, eyes closed and smiling, as a burning 747 goes down in the distance, and the scene fades with a nuclear bomb exploding
“FuckYourself Maximum Dosage; ask your doctor if it’s right for you. Or an ex. Or a bastard boss. Don’t be shy, we will prescribe it to anyone!”
fade to black
Side effects may include death.
Or something weird like extra teeth.
Strange joint pain, anal leakage, hair loss, anal leakage, minor headaches, anal leakage, throbbing veins, anal leakage, sore throat, anal leakage, eye twitching, anal leakage, shrink dink, anal leakage, tender nipples, anal leakage.
We ARE living in a pharmaceutical ad. Just the black and white bit at the beginning where everything hurts.
I always thought the generic nature of many of these ads are slightly strange. They’d show some smiling woman walking down a beach, hair blowing in a breeze. Then they start talking about a medicine for COPD, bipolar disorder, acid reflux or whatever. I guess the viewer is supposed to assume that the woman is afflicted with one of these maladies and now is relieved from it? To me it looks like stock footage of some random lady walking down a beach who had no clue she’d be in a ad for Prozac.
Is this something American I’m too British to have experienced? Also, I use adblock so I probability wouldn’t see it anyway.
The have to include any and all side effects that testing showed.
In other news, it’s straight retarded to allow pharmaceutical advertising. But here we are.
Yeah it’s banned in my country except for stuff like a pain relief balm
I recently overheard one that was “fatal infection of the skin of the perineum.” I thought might be one of the worst ways to go out.
deleted
Side effects may include:
spoiler
3 inches of blood
Anorexia Nervosa
Cephalic Carnage
Fleshgod Apocalypse
Gorod
Ion Dissonance
Katatonia
Malevolent Creation
Malignancy
Mayhem
Mütiilation
Neurosis
Nocturnal Rites
Odious Mortem
Phobia
Severe Torture
Sickening Horror
Spawn of Possession
Vampire Moose
Vehemence
Viraemia
Visceral Bleeding
Vital Remains
Ask your doctor if Abilify is right for you. (Side note, fuck Abilify. It’s the worst med I’ve ever taken by a huge margin)
“Tell your doctor that you want your insurance company to give us piles of money to fuck you up.”
I swear, drug companies’ modus operandi solely revolves around coming up with side effects so awful that the original problem just doesn’t seem as bad by comparison, despite the meds not actually helping it in any way.
Abilify made me unable to even consider anything beyond sleeping and eating.
What is it supposed to cure?
The unfortunate reality is most people would rather choose “Joy” pills rather than face the realities that are required to be faced if we want to fix everything.
