That’s a Texas sized 10-4.

Moist.

So I lived in this genteel retirement/Toronto bedroom community for some years, and he lived across the street. He was 20+ years my senior, and nobody I’d normally befriend except he had a mulberry tree which my little garbage can of a pug wanted to eat the berries off the ground, so I’d end up on his lawn a lot with my now purple faced pug. He was always out messing with his lawn, so we naturally fell into talking.

He had retired early and had all sorts of boomer money, mostly insurance money because his wife died early of breast cancer. He basically quit working and went home and proceeded to drive himself crazy and into alcoholism, but in a very genteel understated way. He bought many many cars, and had a motorcycle he parked in the dining room of his house. He hardly went anywhere except to the distillery and the grocery store though, even had a large RV in his driveway but all he ever did with it was sit in there and watch TV to get away from his dogs. He had a girlfriend who was kind of kooky, an ER nurse, and they would wax and wane. Eccentric isn’t the word I want, just odd. I would come in and talk, and things were rough for me then and he’d just listen without doing anything much. Just one of those people who sort of get randomly tossed into your life. One night he loaned me a car for night shift, and packed me a lunch which consisted of watermelon and candy. He spent a lot of his time moving his vehicles around.

Anyway, he had a casual job as a funeral director. Basically everyone in this town who had grown up there knew each other, and the funeral home owner knew he would sober up for an afternoon if they were shorthanded and run the funeral reasonably well now and then. He took an interest in what the morticians did, and they taught him things. So when his wife died, for some reason they let him embalm her and do her hair, makeup, etc. I did not know this until well into our acquaintance when he came over mostly in the bag one day and sat on our patio and began telling me and my bewildered spouse that he had “crushed her organs”.

He wasn’t a psychopath or something, this was not some weird kink. It was just him. He did everything for her right to the end, and she left him a lot of surprising credit card bills.

He died about five years after we met. He had tried to quit boozing because his kids were angry at him for it, and he’d promptly have a withdrawal seizure and end up in hospital because you can’t get off that much booze safely by yourself, and so his mentation was odd. I think he also tried to kill himself when his kids didn’t come for Father’s Day, as he went into the garage drunk and started his Corvette, but he claimed it was an accident, and his girlfriend was on the outs with him. One day he didn’t take his recycling bins in for four days so the neighbours decided they’d better look into it, and his neighbour looked over the fence and he was dead in the backyard.

He left everything to his girlfriend because of the conflict with his kids, and the day after his funeral she was there packing up all his things and pets and high tailing them back to her house. His kids got a lawyer and halted the sale of his estate and home, and the judge ruled in their favour two years later and they got everything, which was what should happen anyway.

He wasn’t crazy. He was just very much himself and a product of the town we lived in and the boomer generation he was from.

There was this pair in my province who in 2012 met on FetLife because of a shared interest in rape fantasies. So after doing things to each other for a while, they ended up snatching this poor young teacher walking home one night, raping and killing her, and are in prison forever. I grew up with the Ken and Barbie killers, Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka, in my city and attended a victim’s funeral. They killed Karla’s little sister so they could rape her. They filmed the rapes of all their victims. Bernardo was also a serial rapist in Scarborough.

I don’t care what people do in their sex lives. I think it’s important to have an off button and self control, and if you’re preying upon young women and cheating on your spouse like the dude above, you’re just a predator.

I’ve been reading court cases lately of sexual assault cases that happened in BDSM relationship contexts as a result of Gaiman on the Canlii website. There’s a lot of nonconsensual behaviour by the men charged, and one even left a woman in a collar in his basement when she didn’t want to and she died in there. I don’t have a lot of faith in consent in those relationships. And I think they’re disgusting to be honest. Get therapy.

Says who? This is borderline pedophilia to me. I’ll judge if I want.

Actually I had something like that happen when I worked in the ER. It was thought the boyfriend killed her but nothing they could charge him with. I was in the room with him and he acted weird.

We also had a patient with Munchausen’s syndrome and apparently she killed her child but nobody could prove it.

This made me cry.

He wasn’t a mortician either.

Omigod. Is there a reason why?

It’s sad. I wish people didn’t get addicted. It’s never a good outcome for them.

That’s fine, but cheating on your wife isn’t nice and I’m going to say so, and neither is abusing much younger women. Young women have been murdered in violent BDSM relationships. It’s honestly toxic in my opinion. Which I know isn’t popular, but also don’t groom young women and cheat on your wife.

I don’t personally like those either, baklava was always too sweet to me, and halvah too bland and crumbly.

So you cheat on your wife and force young women to self injure? That’s not really very nice at all.

I would think like Prader Willi syndrome but usually those children are intellectually delayed.

Ok all good. Hope you get some relief soon.

Ahahahahaha I didn’t know this one!

I wondered how things were for you. I’m so sorry. I do know of a new treatment for trigeminal nerve stuff simply because I work in neuro I can tell you about if you want but I most certainly won’t give you advice. I just know someone who is using it and it’s new.

My bus hit some poor unhoused guy last year. That was a terrible thump. Thankfully all he got was a head laceration.

I think she’s much better now, thanks. Not thanks to the malignant narcissism of my MIL though. Ugh family.