He didn’t start the fire. It was always burning since the world’s been turning.

When you post something on the Internet, it will stay there forever.

When someone else posts something on the Internet, it will disappear off the face of the Earth by tomorrow.

One time I had a dream where I saw something really cool happening (can’t remember what exactly) and I decided to take a picture with my phone to view it later.

I woke up disappointed that it wasn’t saved to my camera roll.

Missed opportunity to call the nightclub “The Fruit Bowl”.

Meet the new app, same as the old app.

I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as a “monkey”, is in fact, a simian, or as I’ve recently taken to calling them, “higher primates”…

I’ve always gotten Peanuts vibes from this comic, but I never said anything about it, because I assumed it was intentional. Thank you for confirming this!

No, it’s comparing apples and bananas.

No, this is Patrick.

Is this who she means?

Why are they putting on fake fur?